FUCKING OFF!!
I can't make promises tat I cant do and I don make empty promises .. Cause I live my life to this code/quote "Our promising lives, are full of empty promises"
I gave my everything to her .. not everything but majority .. Don think negatively when I said this .. She's the first to almost everything ..
I have never fought for wat I really wanted and beliefs .. Followed my heart and never ever EVER regret till now .. All those laughter .. Tat innocents in u ..
Tat was the most happiest moment of my life tat day ... I couldn't forget or erase tat moment .. Hearing yr voice with tat sweet monotone .. Theres more ..
Soon later .. A called came and I knew something was amiss and I jus got to brace myself .. I couldn't forget tat look .. Tat face and those eyes she gave .. Among all the encounters I face, this was the worst ..
She kneeled and said sorry and my heart jus plunged down .. U kept saying U are this and Tat and by doing tat U are hurting yrself more and U are not tat type of girl .. And I don like U saying tat .. U are different from all the other girls tat I encounter and tats why I love U .. I love U like no other .. I know deep down right here U are special to me .. And get tat into yr head tat U are not like this or tat ..
And U Perhaps this is wat u wanted?? Happy?? Perhaps ... This is wat u wanted right?? Don get it wrong/angry .. I jus felt tat I'm being used .. Different ppl, different personalities .. Different thinking ..
Perhaps its bout fairness .. Perhaps its revenge .. Only 1 of the category fit tat in my mind right now. Talking bout fairness .. Are U being fair?? Maybe U both gain something out of all this but I LOSE .. EVERYTHING .. Everything tat I fought so hard ..
U said this and U said tat and how bout my feelings too .. I jus bare and hold onto .. Wanted to burst but shes hurt enough .. I jus got to endure abit longer ..
Seeing him with her makes me feel a kind and I know he would send her back home safe .. I rode off jus like tat with a loud throttle to vent my emotions out .. I don wish to show ..
Somewhere along mandai I jus ans the call from Awie and I jus stop and burst on the road .. Awie came to comfort me and a msg from Veera:
"Bro, I jus got the news. Whatever is the answer, always think twice before U make a decision"
This is the first time he saw me burst .. My heart jus plunged .. Shock I think he was .. He tried to make some jokes but none really tickled me .. no emotions .. no nothing ..
Speed all the way and got home and a msg from Awie:
"Kit Im really sorry. If i wasnt much of a help .. From the bottom of my heart I just want you to be strong. Adept the pain you suffer. Endure it .. I know you are string you have always been only you cant see it .. Love you bro and Im realli sorry if I wasnt always there when you need me."
I'm tired of being strong .. Even heroes need hero .. I know I have to let go .. Slowly but surely I will .. Journey ahead is tough but I know I will and I CAN .. Perhaps u are right .. NO ONES THERE WHEN I NEEDED HELP .. But at least u came ..
Didn went to work .. I've got no mood .. No mood for anything today .. Went to my grandmothers grave and jus sat there and stare blankly into space .. Prayed and prayed .. My mum and Dad looked at me and ask wat happen .. I jus smiled and said nothing cause they are troubled enough .. Some of U knows ..
I got it all planned wat I'm gonna do during my break ..
Perhaps this is goodbye and my last words to U, Fight for wat U really want and beliefs .. Follow yr heart and never regret .. Fight for yr happiness .. Stop saying U are this and tat cause U are not .. Don make yr mum worry cause shes worried enough and be strong no matter wat and I PROMISE watever yr secrets tat U told me, its safe and I PROMISE I wont tell anyone bout it .. My prayers are always with U .. Love U ..
Private Get Away
I'm exhausted of being strong and putting up a brave front .. I feel like I'm gonna collapse any time. When in school, my tears were wanting to burst but I jus got to hold on ..
My minds is always thinking .. things happening in my family, school and my personal life .. Everything's like rojak.
I'm very pack this month .. Test and more test ..
I pray to u .. God .. grant my family strength especially my mum and the safeness of my father. If u could take away the pain of my love ones and pass it all to me .. I'm willing to take it all ..
I've watch this 2 movies online yesterday .. Nice =)
Title: "The Wolfman"
Rate: "7.5/10"
Title: "Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightening Thief"
Rate: "8.5/10"
WHY SO SERIOUS !! =)
The past few days have been happening so fast lately. Everything in my life and house are turning upside down. Lots of things are happening at home. My mum broke down and I was so helpless and I couldn't comfort her .. The only thing I could do was, I gave her a hug and hold on to her tightly as she felt weaken ..
FOR GOD SAKE!! U'RE A MUSLIM!! WHY THE HELL DID U DO TAT FOR??
Tears came rolling down as I wondered why am I always so soft and so helpless .. I couldn't even punch tat idiot. To tell U all the truth .. I'm struggling with my life right now and times I feel as if I'm suffocating ...
Each passing day when I woke up I clutch my fist and kept saying this to myself .. "Its ok kit .. Its gonna be fine =) Everything's gonna be fine."
I'm tired of putting this fake smile of mine and I know my sarcasm is strong and U all don even notice it cause sarcasm is my second language. Only some ppl could tell my sarcasm ...
I wanted to tell my peeps bout it and I needed a listening ear so badly but none were available and some I don't feel comfortable telling it too.
I understand and its ok ..
I've got no mood for anything right now ...
& to the both of U .. I saw the comment wat U both wrote on facebook and why delete?? I don care & I don wanna know also.
& ppl .. Pls2 don try to lie to me cause I know and doesn't mean tat I look dump, I am one cause I choose to pretend and not to know ..
This is where my work station is =)
My working friend =) - Alex
Meet the chef's but some were off during CNY .. Yes I was working on CNY .. Only an idiot like me would be working -.-V
Heres a little something ...Gonna be mugging a while before I head to bed so goodnite earthlings =)
